– Chapter 7 –
Commitment and Compassion, Good and Evil
Do not be yoked with unbelievers
The path to life is a hard road and a narrow gate. That is why some Christians do things that are a compromise between the Christian life and life in the world. But compromise is ultimately self-deception, and was already a problem in the churches that Paul had built up by God’s grace. And because compromise has serious spiritual consequences, Paul gives us an exhortation on dealing with unbelievers:
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.” “Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.” “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” (2Cor.6:14-18, NIV)
The term “yoked together” (“bound together” in some Bibles) can be understood in various ways. This passage is often taken as a reference to marriage, in which case Paul would be telling the Christians not to marry non-Christians. But more generally it refers to any kind of binding relationship between believers and unbelievers, whether it is a business partnership or a legal covenant, of which marriage is an example. Paul says there is no common ground between believers and unbelievers, yet many Christians see much common ground.
What does it mean to be yoked together? Does it mean to establish a legal contract? Or a friendship? Can we say that marriage is a binding relationship but friendship is not? Some Christians have been ruined by their friendship with non-Christians, so does it mean that we may not be friends with non-Christians? We can narrow the question and ask at what point a friendship ceases to be an ordinary friendship and becomes a bond. Do we regard our office coworkers as mere colleagues and not as friends? In fact James says that friendship with the world is an adulterous bond:
You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. (James 4:4, NIV)
If we are friends with the world, we become enemies of God according to James who doesn’t seem to offer a middle ground for being friends with both. Are we then to distance ourselves from non-Christians? Few people actually think so, but wouldn’t that run into a problem with James 4:4, which says that we are now thereby enemies of God?
Jesus, a friend of sinners
Yet Jesus was a friend of tax collectors and “sinners” (Mt.11:19; Lk.7:34). The word “sinners” often refers to people such as prostitutes. Tax collectors and prostitutes were the outcasts of Jewish society. Jesus was accused of being a friend to these people who were viewed by society as morally contemptible.
That creates a dilemma. Why is it okay for us to be friends with sinners but not with the world? James 4:4 clearly says that friendship with the world is enmity towards God, yet Jesus was a friend of sinners. Is there a difference between friendship with sinners and friendship with the world?
The key difference, of course, lies in one’s motives. Being friends with the world in the sense of James 4:4 means gaining the world for one’s own benefit. The motive is entirely selfish for it seeks after riches, position and glory in the world even at the cost of one’s own soul. But when Jesus befriended sinners, his motive was to bring salvation to tax collectors and sinners — at the cost of his own life. That is the key difference between the two types of friendship.
We are to be friends with the people of the world with the aim of showing them God’s love so that they may be saved. We show love and friendship to non-Christians even if they are not our family members, just as we love our family members even if they are not Christians. We give ourselves and our hearts to them in order to win them to God and not to ourselves, that they may be freed from sin and have eternal life. At school or work, our friendship with our classmates and colleagues ought to be motivated by a self-giving love that channels God’s saving love to them.
In all this, there must be no ulterior selfishness. Boy-girl relationships are complicated because they often involve conflicting motives. You want to win someone to God, yet you also want to win him or her to yourself. You may even try to win the person to God in order to have him or her to yourself.
Where there are conflicting motives, the one that usually dominates is the selfish one. It is best to find someone with no ulterior motives to help him or her, or else what may happen is that the one you are trying to help may become a Christian just to please you. You would have done the person a great disservice by encouraging him or her to become a Christian without committing to God. We don’t become true Christians except by committing to God in response to His commitment to us. We love God because He first loved us.
Love calls for a commitment that gives of oneself without selfish motives. But where there is both carnal friendship and spiritual friendship, these will cancel each other, or will be in conflict until one of them — usually the carnal one — dominates.
Why do we commit to God in the first place?
So far we have looked at God’s commitment to us. But in the Sermon on the Mount, we also see Jesus’ commitment to us. It is an expression of his brotherly love for us, for Jesus is our brother (Mt.28:10; Rom. 8:29; Heb.2:11). He was born of God just as we are born of God (1Jn. 5:18), and he cares about even the least of his brethren (Mt.25:40). Let us now consider what he says in Matthew 5:38-41:
You have heard that it was said, An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. But I tell you, don’t resist an evildoer. On the contrary, if anyone slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. As for the one who wants to sue you and take away your shirt, let him have your coat as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two. (Mt.5:38-41, HCSB)
Many find this statement difficult. To appreciate what it means for us, it would be helpful to keep in mind that it was powerfully fulfilled in Jesus’ own life by his commitment to us. Did Jesus himself fulfill these words? If he had not, he could hardly have expected us to fulfill them.
Here we address a question that is in the minds of many Christians: Why should we be committed to God in the first place? Is it just to be saved? Or are there deeper reasons for commitment? Do we commit to God in blind obedience, not understanding the reasons for our commitment?
These questions are relevant to the passage we have just read. Do I turn the other cheek in blind obedience to the Lord’s command? Some may put it this way: “Turning the cheek makes no sense to me, but I’ll do it just the same because Jesus said so. Even if I don’t like it, I’ll do it to be saved. Jesus did say in John 15:14, ‘You are my friends if you do what I command you’. Since he commanded me to turn the other cheek, I will turn the other cheek in order to be saved.”
If you’re a Christian, do you know why you’re a Christian? Or why you’re walking on the narrow road? If the best answer you can give is to be saved, that is not a good answer. It is not a wrong answer either, but surely there must be a better answer. It is fine to want to be saved, but you need to know why you’re a Christian beyond wanting to be saved.
Why do I turn the other cheek? If someone wants my shirt, why do I give him my coat as well? And where do we see this kind of Christianity being practiced in the world today? If “believing” in Jesus is good enough for the Christian life, why do we need the Sermon on the Mount or the rest of the Bible? If commitment makes no difference for salvation, why don’t we just select a few verses on believing in Jesus and forget the rest of the Bible?
Merely believing that Jesus died for my sins requires no commitment on my part, but turning the other cheek takes total commitment. The commitment has to be total because partial commitment is compromise. But is compromise even a choice in the case of turning the cheek? You do it or you don’t. You go a second mile or you don’t.
We are confronted with two questions. First, do we need to be committed to be saved? Second, why does the Lord require commitment from us? These are vital questions that we need to answer. Pertinent to the first question is what Jesus says at the end of the Sermon on the Mount:
And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it. (Mt.7:26-27, ESV)
The one who hears Jesus’ words but doesn’t do them is like a man who builds a house on sand. Its structure won’t survive the flood of judgment. But the one who hears Jesus’ words and does them is like a man who builds a house on solid rock. When the floods and storms of judgment come, it survives triumphantly. Will our lives survive the test of judgment?
Compassion: the motivation of commitment
To see the true meaning of turning the other cheek, we need to understand the motivation of commitment as we see it in the heart of Jesus. Throughout the gospels, everything he did was a fulfillment of what he had taught his disciples. His whole life displayed his total commitment to us. The Sermon on the Mount ends in chapter 7, and straightaway in chapter 8, Jesus cleanses a leper.
When I first arrived in Hong Kong, I visited a leper colony there. It was quite an experience for me to see people disfigured by a hideous disease, with limbs contorted and parts falling off.
The leper symbolizes mankind in its sinful condition. There is nothing healthy about the sinner from the top of his head to the soles of his feet. The whole person is corrupted by sin. It is no coincidence that right after giving the Sermon on the Mount, the first thing Jesus did was to cleanse a leper. The word cleanse means to heal or to restore to good condition. After cleansing the leper, the next thing Jesus did was to heal a centurion’s servant.
We often miss the point of Jesus’ miracles. They are not meant to showcase his wonder-working powers. In fact Jesus would often tell the healed person not to tell anyone about the healing (Mt.8:4; Mk.7:36; 8:26; Lk.8:56). He wasn’t trying to impress anyone with his healing powers. On the contrary, every miracle is a sign that points to the fact that Jesus, out of his deep compassion, has come to heal and save us.
Compassion in Matthew’s gospel
Since it was compassion that motivated Jesus’ commitment to us, let us survey the word “compassion” as it appears in Matthew’s gospel. Jesus says in Matthew 9:13:
But go and learn what this means, “I desire compassion, and not sacrifice,” for I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.
Jesus was a friend of sinners and he called them to repentance. What he requires from us is a similar compassion of the heart rather than sacrifice or outward religious performance. Matthew 9:36 says of Jesus:
When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. (NIV)
Jesus had compassion on people for he saw them as sheep without a shepherd. Has this kind of compassion ever stirred in you? When you are in a crowd, do you feel compassion for those around you or do you feel irritated? If a man standing next to you in a crowded train has bad breath, do you feel like recommending him mouthwash? Our thinking revolves around ourselves, so we don’t know how to be compassionate. Compassion means to forget ourselves and to think of the needs of others. But we get annoyed when a man is leaning against us in the train or is holding on to the support bar and blocking our view.
Jesus was moved with compassion for people. Do we feel any compassion at all? By nature we are so self-centered that it’s impossible for us to forget ourselves. But “compassion” and “mercy” come up in Matthew’s gospel again and again, e.g. 5:7, 12:7, 14:14, 15:32, 18:27, 18:33 (twice), 20:34, and 23:23. Compassion and mercy run through Matthew, bringing out the powerful motivation that works in the Lord Jesus. It is compassion that motivates his commitment to you and to me.
Returning to our question: Why did Jesus turn the other cheek? Was it because his Father had commanded him to? But obedience without compassion would be meaningless. Turning the other cheek must be motivated by compassion. If someone slaps us and we scream, “Go ahead! Slap me again!” our attitude would be wrong. Your turning the cheek would have meaning only if the other person sees compassion in your eyes.
Why do I need to show compassion when God is already all-compassionate? Isn’t His compassion good enough? Again we are dealing with the motive. Do we know why we’re doing what we’re doing? What is it that motivates us to repent, forsake evil, and embrace good?
Moral choices and activities
In all this we are confronted with a choice between good and evil. It is a choice that takes us back to Genesis in the garden of Eden where Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit. One notable consequence of their disobedience is seen in Genesis 3:22:
And the Lord God said, “The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.” (NIV)
Adam’s decision to eat the forbidden fruit was consequential because he thereby gained the knowledge of good and evil. The word “know” doesn’t mean intellectual knowledge but experiential understanding. Prior to disobeying God, Adam didn’t know good and evil experientially; but in the act of disobeying God, he experienced good and evil. You only need to know the one to know the other. In doing what is evil, you get to know what is the good as its opposite. In doing what is the good, you get to know what is evil.
God doesn’t need to do evil to know evil. He knows evil not because He has done evil but because evil has been done to Him, for all sin is ultimately done to God. Jesus knows evil too, not because he has done evil but because evil has been heaped on him and he was killed for our sins. No one knows evil as he, for no one has suffered the consequences of evil as he.
Every day we do three types of activity: physical, mental (intellectual), and spiritual. If an activity is purely physical or intellectual, it has no moral significance. By contrast, a spiritual activity has moral significance because it involves a choice between good and evil.
Let’s imagine Adam and Eve in the garden. They see a peach tree and eat its fruit. This act has no moral significance because it is a physical activity in contrast to a spiritual activity. If I buy a drink at a store, is there any moral significance in whether I choose Coke, Pepsi, or root beer? This purely material decision has no moral significance because it has nothing to do with good and evil. A physical activity has no moral significance unless it is attached to, or is the consequence of a spiritual activity.
A physical choice — such as buying a brand of shampoo or choosing a color for my shirt — has no moral significance. Not even an intellectual activity such as guessing the weather or performing a math calculation has moral significance unless it is connected to a spiritual activity. The same with buying a book to learn French or Chinese. Whether I believe the universe is in an inflationary state after the Big Bang or in a deflationary state, has no moral significance.
Whether I believe in the theory of evolution also has no moral significance unless I use it to prove or disprove God’s creation. In any case, this theory neither proves nor disproves creation because evolution is a process of life. It is logically invalid to prove the origin of life from a theory of the process of life. The evolutionary process proves nothing for or against creation because the origin of life has to be proved from something else. But when studied as theory, evolution has no intrinsic moral significance because it has nothing to do with good and evil.
Finally, intellectual belief in a Christian doctrine such as that Jesus died for you has no moral significance unless you draw from it something of spiritual value that pertains to your salvation. If we preach the gospel by telling people to believe in Jesus but without telling them to make a moral commitment, then we haven’t preached the gospel at all. If your Christian profession is merely intellectual, you are not a Christian. If your faith makes no difference for good or evil in your life, you are in the same situation as Satan who also believes what you believe and more (James 2:19).
The way Peter preached the gospel is not the way it is preached today. His message in Acts 3 concludes with the words: “When God raised up his servant (Jesus), he sent him first to you to bless you by turning each of you from your wicked ways” (v.26). The blessing of eternal life requires us to make a moral decision to turn away from our “wicked ways”. To be a Christian in the biblical sense is to forsake our evil ways and choose what is good. Then we can see good and evil in practical terms: compassion versus no compassion; love versus hate; a God-centered life versus a self-centered life; a lifestyle that cares for others versus one that grabs everything for oneself.
Turning the other cheek: exercising the nuclear option
To commit to God, we must know why we commit and to whom we commit. Why should I choose good over evil, or love over hate? I still need to understand the reasons for my choice.
If someone slaps me on the cheek, what options are available to me? One option is to slap him back, even two or three times. We may end up in a slugfest in which he slaps me, I slap him, he slaps me, I slap him, which is full-blown “eye for eye and tooth for tooth”. I recently heard someone say that if everyone in society practices eye for eye, the world will be blind and eyeless!
The second option is non-retaliation: I refrain from hitting him back. In exercising self-control, my nerves are trembling, my muscles are tense, my fist is clenched, and I start counting “one, two, three” until my blood pressure subsides.
With the first option (retaliation), we are misusing the principle of “an eye for an eye” for personal retaliation, by returning evil for evil. Someone does evil to me, so I do evil to him, even paying back with interest. By adding my evil to his, I have multiplied evil. He may hit me a second or third time, so evil increases exponentially.
Is there a better way of dealing with the problem of evil? If I hit him back (retaliation), I have multiplied evil. If I don’t hit him back (non-retaliation), I have kept evil at a constant level, neither increasing nor decreasing it.
But there is a third option: When someone slaps me, I turn the other cheek in love and compassion with the aim of overcoming his evil. Then he will be taken by surprise: “Why doesn’t he hit me back? Why does he show me love and compassion after what I have done to him?” That is precisely what we want to achieve. In offering the other cheek, love begins to overpower him. Paul tells us that good is so powerful that it can overcome evil:
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:17-21, NIV)
The expression “heap burning coals on his head” has been a subject of scholarly study. It means to cause a burning fire of shame, remorse, and regret. Because of your compassion, the other person has come to a burning sense of the wrong he has done you. So intense is his shame and remorse for having been your enemy that he feels the coals of fire burning on his head. The expression probably came from an old Egyptian proverb that describes the intensity of shame over having wronged someone who did not retaliate but responded to evil with love and good.
The one who loves with Christ’s love is not weak but strong. The same cannot be said of the one who serves as a “carpet” for people to trample on. A person who is weak and passive has no power to overcome evil. The good we are talking about is active and powerful. It doesn’t just endure abuse and insult, it goes one step further: If someone abuses you, you love him the more. Your enemy won’t see this as weakness but as power! He might not react to you immediately but he will respect the power operating in you. You are not a punching bag but a powerful force that is overpowering evil.
What Paul is telling us to do — overcome evil with good — is something active, not passive. If you are passive, people will think you are weak and cowardly. But if you fight back with love, they won’t know how to handle it. You have nuclear power that defeats conventional power. It is a divine power that confronts them. You are declaring an all-out war to defeat evil. This love is aggressive because it aims to conquer and not surrender.
This we cannot do except by God’s power. When you let His power work in you, you will begin to experience amazing things. Accepting this challenge requires total commitment and choosing good over evil.
Remark: In turning the other cheek, we also need to be wise and to assess the situation on a case by case basis. It is no credit to the Christian when he behaves foolishly and without thinking. God’s wisdom goes together with God’s love so that we respond to situations appropriately and wisely.
Love overcomes: the case of my mother
Love and compassion come from God: “God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Rom.5:5). This love is moral and spiritual. Love that has no moral element is not love. In the Bible, love is not a sentimental feeling but something that involves a decisive choice of good over evil. It is a commitment to love the unlovely. And because love is powerful enough to defeat evil, I don’t have to retaliate, exchanging evil for evil. I overcome evil by God’s goodness that has been poured into my life.
The more you apply this, the more you will see that God’s love overpowers evil. The happy outcome is that I know why I am committed and why I turn the other cheek. It is a calculated act that, by God’s goodness, overcomes evil in the other person.
When your enemy sees God’s goodness in you, he will be convicted of his wronging. If he surrenders to good, we will have won a battle against evil. If he refuses to repent, we will leave it to God to deal with him. Vengeance belongs to God the Judge. But whether the other person repents or not, I myself will not be defeated by evil, or give in to evil by retaliating. We are God’s coworkers in the battle against evil, conquering evil by His love. It is achievable. All the way to judgment day, we will love those who hate and persecute us. Either they repent of their sins or God will deal with them on that day.
I know from experience that love conquers. Soon after I became a Christian, my parents rejected me. My mother made it clear to me that I wasn’t welcome at home. When I came home during the school holidays, the very first question she asked was, “When are you leaving?” How’s that for a welcome? But I was determined to love her to the end until God’s love triumphs in her heart. Whenever my mother was unkind to me, I would go to the kitchen to do the dishes. She found this very strange because I previously would never do the dishes. What’s more, in our family tradition, it wasn’t a man’s job to do the dishes. So this increased her bewilderment. And when she was unkind to me again, I would sweep the floors, do the grocery shopping, and bring home a present for her. When she continued to be unkind to me, I bought her some flowers. She didn’t know how to handle this. No matter how badly she treated me, I loved her all the same.
Years later, she knelt beside me one day. With tears running down her face, she surrendered her life to God. Good had overcome evil. I will never forget what she said to me: “I gave you physical life, you gave me spiritual life.” She channeled physical life to me, I channeled God’s life to her by God’s grace. We became very close after that. Before she came to God, I didn’t have much affection for her, humanly speaking. In the beginning, it took commitment on my part to love her with God’s love, for my heart had no human love or attachment for her. But later on, I loved her with God’s love in a way I had never loved her before.
When she died a few years later, it took me a long time to recover. I knelt before God and said, “I don’t understand. Why did you take her away? She was a new Christian who truly loved you. I was hoping she could do something for you before she passes away.” To this day I do not have an answer to my question, but I do know that God’s love was able to overcome the sin and evil in her heart. She admitted to being a sinful woman in her youth, yet she became a saint of God. Her whole life radiated the beauty of Christ, and I loved her ever so deeply.
I have witnessed the power of love that overcame the hardness in my mother’s heart. Her heart was hard like rock, yet God was able to melt it. If love can win my mother, it can win anyone else because I know how hardened she was. I now understand the reasons for my commitment and my turning the other cheek, for I have experienced the power of God’s love. I know it is real and that it works. I can love others because I know that God’s love will triumph in every situation.
(c) 2021 Christian Disciples Church