D0285

A sharing by Pastor James Ho for this song:

I remembered the time when I was seeking God. Oftentimes, I had heard messages that we were all sinners and needed to repent of all our sins in order to be saved. I was annoyed at being labeled as a sinner. I am sure that many seekers share the same feeling that it is an insult to our dignity. I admitted I sinned, but that didn’t make me a sinner. It’s the same as saying I smoke, but I am not a smoker; I gamble, but I am no gambler; I drink, but I am not an alcoholic!

I found it hard to accept that I was a sinner. This unsettling feeling lingered on until one late evening, when I meditated upon the cross. An unusual spiritual encounter enlightened me. It dawned on me that Yahweh God sent Jesus to save sinners. If I didn’t admit myself as a sinner, then he couldn’t save me. My sins would remain and I would have no part of his atonement for my sins. Not only that, it was the sins of the world including mine that nailed Jesus on the cross. With deep conviction of my heart in responding to Jesus’ amazing love, I wrote the song “Now I Understand”.

回顾我在追求神的时候，多次我听到的讲道都是在针对我们是罪人，需要认罪悔改才能得救。我很惹恼被指定为罪人。我相信很多追求者与我有同感觉得被认定为“罪人”是对我们人格上一种的羞辱。我承认我有罪，但不等于我是罪人。就比如说我吸烟，但我不是烟瘾着；我赌博，但我不是赌徒；我喝酒，但我不是嗜酒者。

我很难接受自己是个罪人。这种扰乱的心情一直持续直到一个深夜，我安静的默想十字架。当夜我有一个奇异属灵的经历，我突然被启蒙了。我意识到雅伟神差派耶稣来是拯救罪人。若我不承认自己是罪人，那他就不能拯救我。我的罪仍然缠绕着我，耶稣的救赎与我无分。不但如此，是世人的罪，包括我的罪把耶稣钉在十字架上。我深深地感受到耶稣奇妙的大爱，就写下这首诗歌 “我如今明白”。